Ken's 2019 All Lines Rail Rover
Trains
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Stations
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Train 1
Service: 1B63 0534 Doncaster to Manchester Airport
Operator: TransPennine Express
Class: 185
My journey
Sheffield to Manchester Piccadilly
Stats: 42.6 miles, 3 stops in 0:58 (44.1 mph)
It was time to say goodbye to Sheffield. I left too early for my Ibis breakfast and walked for the last time through the bus station and onto the railway station.
I had plans for today, honest. I’d go to Manchester then use the trams for a while before visiting a museum I’ve never managed to get to, the Manchester Museum of Science and Industry. Or maybe visit two Peak District branch lines, to Buxton and Matlock. On the other hand I could go from Manchester along the north Wales coast to Bangor then catch a bus to Caernarfon to catch the Welsh Highland Railway. This was tempting but would take a very long time, most of it travelling on lines I’d used before.
In any case another nice ride across the southern Pennines to Manchester on a TransPennine Express was a decent way to start, even though I’d travelled most of this route as recently as yesterday. There was a pair of regulars talking on the train. The big news was that the TransPennine Express printer had broken down, so there were no labels indicating seat reservations. Oh well, there are several empty seats on this train so it shouldn’t affect me.
Some way into the journey my phone pinged. Despite it being only 7 o’clock my wife Rosemary wanted to know if I’d entered this week’s “Where Was I”? We enter this Sunday Times travel section competition every week. You solve a couple of clues about an area of the UK and may win a holiday. I’ve been entering it for years without success, but recently my wife decided that we could double our chances if we both entered. Her message wasn’t an offer to help, but a reminder that the competition was to close on that day and I had yet to tell her what answers to use.
I took a look at this week’s competition. It looked absurdly easy. I needed a town associated with conserves, comics and video games, and a ship associated with that town. I knew the town was Dundee but I didn’t know the ship. I could very easily look it up. Or I could go to Dundee.
Train 2
Service: 1S35 0710 Manchester Airport to Glasgow Central
Operator: TransPennine Express
Class: 350
My journey
Manchester Piccadilly to Glasgow
Stats: 223.9 miles, 8 stops in 3:05 (72.6 mph)
So when I reached Manchester Piccadilly I crossed to the through island platform I’d arrived at early on Monday morning, discovering a much more direct route than the one I’d used when running for the Hull service. It was now about 07:15 and the narrow platform was busy, but before too long (and almost on time) I heaved Ken+bag onto a TransPennine sevice heading back to Glasgow Central.
No sooner had I settled into my seat when a very large man informed me that it was his seat and he had a printed reservation to prove it. Of course the absence of any label on the seat concerned was explained by the great TransPennine printer failure. I moved, but was uneasy. It was a busy time of day and there aren’t many 1st class seats on these trains. But I could probably reserve one! Like CrossCountry it is now possible to reserve a seat for almost immediate travel on TransPennine services. It turned out that there was just a single seat available, the ‘priority’ seat at the end of the carriage, with a relatively poor view from the window and the risk that somebody needing the seat more than I did would turf me out. I can see what train companies offering real-time seat reservations are trying to do, but it means that every single passenger except those with pre-booked seats can expect to be kicked out of their place at any time. I think it stinks, but as it turned out I needn’t have worried because, as usual, many of the passengers with booked seats chose to use another train entirely.
The journey to Glasgow was the reverse of the one I made on Monday and on an identical train, but with fewer lengthy stops. It also served Motherwell instead of the exotic route of Monday’s very early morning service via Holytown and Wishaw Junction.
Train 3
Service: 1A61 1139 Glasgow QS to Aberdeen
Operator: ScotRail
Class: 43+Mk.3+43 (HST)
My journey
Glasgow Central to Dundee
Stats: 83.3 miles, 3 stops in 1:25 (58.8 mph)
When I reached Glasgow Central I walked to Queen Street again then into the travel centre to book a berth on that night’s sleeper. There was nothing available from Aberdeen or Edinburgh, but I grabbed a cabin from Glasgow before paying another visit to that building site known as Glasgow Queen Street. I was more than slightly pleased to see that my transport to Dundee was to be a venerable High Speed Train, or InterCity 125. These trains have been the backbone of 125 mph long distance travel in the UK since 1976. The last examples running from Paddington were withdrawn with great fanfare in May, with nobody seeming to notice that these workhorses have far from disappeared from our railways. They still run from King’s Cross to places like Harrogate, Aberdeen and Inverness; from St. Pancras to Sheffield and on long-distance cross-country services to and from Cornwall.
Even those that have been withdrawn are not all condemned to the cutting lance. Many, in shortened form, will run on regional services in the south-west and in Scotland. So that’s why my ScotRail service today was formed of one of them. But they were supposed to be overhauled before entering service in Scotland. The project to overhaul the trains is running late so they’ve been pressed into action more or less as they are.
I’m very glad. They’re comfortable in a way no modern train ever is. Even so, I’d like to see how they turn out once they’ve been done up. Two fixes in particular are long overdue. The first concerns the toilets. As was normal in the 1970s the toilets empty directly onto the track, hence the ‘do not flush while in a station’ signs. Bringing these trains up to Scotland has not gone down well with the unions, who campaigned against this anachronism years ago, successfully, or so they thought. The second problem concerns the doors. People of my age have no problem with leaving a train in the traditional way; by lowering the window and using the external handle, then pushing the door open (although we still find the fact that these entirely manual doors now have central locking a little off-putting). But it seems that millennials cannot cope. So there are signs, with diagrams, and long, detailed, announcements telling you exactly how to open the doors. There was even the helpful suggestion that you may wish to walk to the door a few minutes before arriving at your destination so that you can familiarise yourself with the arcane procedure.
I was the only passenger in first class. I’ve travelled this line before (my new route mileage isn’t very good this week) but it’s a pleasant ride up through Stirling and along the Tay, passing the magnificent Tay Bridge as you approach Dundee. The only downside was that I was hoping for some freebie ScotRail tea but saw no sign of a trolley. I tweeted the company and was told that yes, a trolley was supposed to be available. Great.
I got off at Dundee. Opposite the station is the gleaming, ship-like bulk of the new V&A Dundee – and a real ship, the RRS Discovery. I toured both, despite the school holiday crowds, and recommend that you do, too. The V&A permanent exhibition concerns Scottish design through the ages. The Discovery has a large and informative building all about the expedition to the Antarctic followed by a tour of the ship itself. It’s fascinating.
Train 4
Service: 1A67 1339 Glasgow QS to Aberdeen
Operator: ScotRail
Class: 43+Mk.3+43 (HST)
My journey
Dundee to Aberdeen
Stats: 44.1 miles, 6 stops in 1:12 (59.4 mph)
Train 5
Service: 1B43 1715 Aberdeen to Edinburgh
Operator: ScotRail
Class: 170 (170428)
My journey
Whole route
Stats: 130.5 miles, 6 stops in 2:23 (48.75 mph)
I caught the train on to Aberdeen, another HST. I got my free tea this time, sending the “Where Was I?” answers to Rosemary, with the usual result. We didn’t win, athough we struck lucky a couple of weeks later and went to Istanbul.
On neither HST did the Wi-Fi work but I hadn’t expected it to – the SSID was GWR, the name of the trains’ former operator. That’s something else to fix when they get round to it.
I was just killing time: my sleeper didn’t leave Glasgow until nearly midnight. I looked around Aberdeen for a while, noting how poor the pubs closest to the station are, then caught a train back to Edinburgh. It was one of ScotRail’s class 170s, the same type of train I started out on last Saturday at Stansted Airport. But ScotRail’s seem to be fitted out a little better and are nicer to travel in. I much prefer ScotRail’s proud blue saltire to the horrible brown, red, grey and white livery of CrossCountry.
The last time I’d caught a train from Aberdeen it had been the 0820 service that runs all the way to Penzance. I’d stayed on board for very nearly the entire journey, bottling it at the last minute by jumping off at Camborne rather than risking a very short connection onto the London sleeper. This time I was only going to Edinburgh. But it’s another nice ride. It starts off well by crossing the Tay Bridge, the stumps of columns next to the bridge a reminder of Boxing Day 1879 when the original bridge collapsed, sending a train into the Tay and killing 79 people. It ruined Thomas Bouch’s reputation but didn’t harm William McGonagle’s a jot, possibly because everyone knew his poetry was rubbish in any case.
My reveries were interrupted when a very large man entered my part of the train and claimed a seat one bay away on the opposite side of the aisle. He wanted to talk, or more accurately shout, to me.
“IS IT OK IF I SIT HERE? I HAVEN’T GOT A FIRST CLASS TICKET BUT I WANT TO CHARGE MY PHONE”.
It didn’t bother me in the least.
“I PAID £250 FOR THIS FUCKING TICKET AND I CAN’T CHARGE MY PHONE”.
At this point the guard asked to see his ticket. He explained that he wasn’t intending to stay for any longer than ten minutes. “I PAID £250 FOR THIS FUCKING TICKET AND I CAN’T CHARGE MY PHONE”.
He told me he was working on the rigs, his five-week stint was at an end, and he was heading home to Middlesbrough. He made this journey regularly, adding as an afterthought, “I PAID £250 FOR THIS FUCKING TICKET AND I CAN’T CHARGE MY PHONE”.
After five weeks abstinence from alcohol he was, naturally, doing his bit by trying to catch up. He explained this in a manner that suggested he imagined I was profoundly deaf. Or maybe his eyesight was poor and he thought I may have been sitting further away from him than I was. Dover, perhaps. I answered as discreetly as I could given the physical and cultural difference between us, but I’m sure I annoyed the good chaps sitting behind me as much as he did. I didn’t really care. The worst they could do to me was tut, whereas my new friend was very large and had, by his own admission, more than a few sips of non-temperance beverages inside him. And he was entertaining.
“ANYWAY, THEY WON’T KICK ME OUT NOW I’M HERE. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I PAID FOR MY FUCKING TICKET?”
Before I had time to hazard a guess (err, twenty quid?) the guard reappeared and informed my stentorian colleague that, notwithstanding the outrageous price he’d paid for his fucking ticket, and even taking into consideration the woefully inadequate charging facilities on ScotRail’s class 170 trains in standard class, he’d have to move. He did so without the tiniest sign of revolt. When I went to the train toilet a few minutes later he was sitting on the floor in the vestibule within easy reach of the drinks trolley.
When not engaged in intellectual discourse I could look out of the window. It’s a nice ride down the Scottish east coast and along the north bank of the Firth of Forth. Perhaps the most scenic bit of all is the view just before crossing that Victorian marvel, the Forth Rail Bridge. That was my signal for a final trip to the train toilet as we passed Dalmeny before calling at Haymarket and finally Waverley.
Train 6
Service: 2H47 1952 Edinburgh to Helensburgh Central
Operator: ScotRail
Class: ???
My journey
Edinburgh to Glasgow QS Low Level
Stats: 44.1 miles, 20 stops in 1:21 (32.7 mph)
What to do now? I was still hoping at some stage to travel the Borders line or the Fife circle. The problem with either was that I’d end up back in Edinburgh and my next train, the sleeper, left from Glasgow. The solution was another of the Edinburgh to Glasgow routes.
Until 2010 trains from Edinburgh branched off the main Glasgow line just after Edinburgh Park and skirted the north side of Livingstone before terminating in Bathgate. In the west, trains from Glasgow travelled as far as Drumgelloch. The line in between had carried no passengers since 1956. But it’s been reopened. It wasn’t the most exciting journey of the week but it was enjoyable enough. I cannot remember which type of electric train ScotRail provided for this service.
I got off at Queen Street at one of the low-level platforms that lie beneath the main station. It’s a Glasgow curiosity that commuter trains serve subterranean platform under both of its termini. I walked back along Buchanan Street to Central to await my sleeper to Euston.
Glasgow Central was quiet. I wandered around, settling into an overpriced establishment called The Beer Shop for the last 20 minutes before I could find my berth. I reflected. Had the day been enjoyable? Certainly. Had I travelled over lots of new track? No. Every train I’d been on today except the last took me to places I’d been to before, and more than once. Maybe I’d make up for it tomorrow. But first, the all-new all-singing-all-dancing Caledonian Sleeper. But most of my journey on that will be tomorrow, so (Continued on day 6..)